An Interesting Spam That I Received
This dropped into my inbox on August 18th, 2004. Most of the spam I get is simply deleted, but this one really stood out like a sore thumb...the kind of sore thumb you'd get from an electric hammer mill, that is! Read and enjoy!
Hello,
I apologize for contacting you indirectly, but we are very interested in
promoting our anti-adware/anti-spyware software programs with your
company, and we hope that you're interested in giving us the opportunity
to do so.
Very interesting, apparently you didn't understand the fact that I pay the cost to run all of my websites out of pocket. I feel it is out of line to expect visitors to a person's site (especially those actively seeking information) to endure irritating advertisements, especially popups. (Please note that I have nothing against subtly presented and relevant ads, however...)
Usually I don't promote products at all, but this is only more true when I've had no experience with your product in the real world.
And, no you don't apologize for contacting me indirectly. You are a SPAMMER, that is what you DO. Even you should know that. D-U-H!
We are seeking marketing for our software in
solo-mailings
I don't do mass mailing. Poor old Mother Earth and her trees don't need any more mail sent out that will simply end up in trashcans.
Ezines,
I don't publish one, but if you were more than a spammer AND had taken the time to explore my site, you'd have known that.
pop-unders, pop-ups, exit pops, and banners.
Absolutely NOT to the first three items. Oh, and as for the fourth, I did mention that I run my sites out of pocket, thank you very much.
If you offer any of these
advertising models, and are interested in generating a new revenue
stream for your company via CPA advertising of our software,
Nope, not here. See above. Had you been more than a spammer, you'd have known that.
then please
email us at marketing@trek-marketing.com with your interests.
Hang onto your butt. You may get more than you bargained for.
Here's a little more information that should persuade you:
Persuade away, buddy. Keep http://www.lavasoft.nu/ in mind as you do.
Offer Description: Our software allows the consumer to scan their PC
free of charge in order to locate any spyware or adware applications.
If spyware or adware is located then the consumers have the option to
purchase the software and remove the infections. The purchase is made
directly from the site, and you will have real-time stats that enable
you to watch the sales as they come in.
Lavasoft Sweden offers not only the scanning functionality, but also the removal for no cost at all.
Their tools work, too...and as far as I can tell, they don't engage in sleazy tactics like spamming.
FREE and GOOD is pretty hard to compete with.
Over 91% of all Internet users are infected with some sort of adware or
spyware, and that's why our affiliates are generating such high revenue
streams with us.
That much seems fair to say.
All of our affiliates, even those with very minimal traffic, are earning
anywhere from $500 a month on the low end to well over $20,000+ a month
on the high end.
I SMELL something. Do you?
The payout is as follows:
$10.68 per sale of the $29.99 download
$18.06 per sale of the $49.90 download
$6.98 per sale of the $19.99 download
Payment Terms: You will receive payments twice per month, on the 2nd and
16th like clock work.
There's that smell again? What could it be?
Another reason why our affiliates enjoy working with us is because we
continuously develop the most effective ad creatives in the Industry.
What, praytell, are ad creatives? If you're meaning to say "creative" ads, I can do without that kind of crap.
Finally, if you do decide to promote our anti-spyware software we'll
send you a free version as a thank you gift. After you run our software
on your PC you'll see why consumers love it!
Thanks but no thanks. Free anti-adware/spyware software already exists, and unlike your pitiful hack, it does
a complete job for no charge. Top that, if you can.
Once again, if you're interested in promoting our software please email
us at marketing@trek-marketing.com
File this in your record--I don't promote software that A) I haven't used B) was brought to my attention by
underhanded (incl. spamming) means and C) doesn't do do its job without giving the user a pain in the
rear.
Oh, and while you're at it, unfile my e-mail address. I'll be sending 200 of these just so you'll have it right.
Thank you,
No trouble at all. Idiots are fast becoming very common, so I'm getting quite good at "packing them up
and sending them away".
Sean O'Hagan
Best hope I don't figure out where you live, Sean.
Director of Affiliate Acquisitions
So instead of being just the guy in the mailroom, now you have an
e-mail address and client?
Anti-Spyware Division
Yeeeeaaahhhh....right.... I've got a bridge I want to sell you, by the way.
marketing@trek-marketing.com
Should be fun to see if this works...