*BANG!* Spectator, Upon Spectatoring the waste-food disposer: ".... Nails in the food disposer?"
Me: "Well, I was trying to imitate the sound the water cooler at work was making."Spectator: "Did you succeed?"
Me: "No... The water cooling is still popping, screeching, wubba-wizzooing, groaning, meowing, clunking, banging, going "boing" and screeching some more. This food disposal just packed it in!"
Later:
???: "Well I didn't know he played the violin!"
WasteGrind 5000
(Prologue)
Thank-you
purchasing our Waste 5000 grind. We want many years happiness from you.
Before begin, careful read this words for full care operation.
NO LOOSE FINGER NOW!
This Waste haf more feature than last one. 5000 bigger than 4000!
SHOOTING TROUBLE BAD. IT COME BITE YOU IN THE A**
NO LOOSE FINGER NOW!
This Waste haf more feature than last one. 5000 bigger than 4000!
- More powe, remore spArks
- Big grind room
- More instruct than before for best wasting blepossi
- Numbers are bIIGER for waste sizing
SHOOTING TROUBLE BAD. IT COME BITE YOU IN THE A**
(Another page, marked with an indistinguishable character from an eastern language)
ShootingTrouble
Grind Not for hunt purpose. If bleed, wrong use go buy more grindwaste
If gRind not happen SMOKE TEST. NOT SMOKING WHEN WASTE it make grind sluggish
SOME GriNd stuck. Act few times to unstuck gRind then get waSTe continuous
Waste leak. SCREWED GRIND PIPE, MAYB to mUhc. Buy anew WASTE
PuMp too sOFt not suck waste good. NEED PUMP (Sold Separete)
pUmP work haRD suck much good, but sCrew pipe. Buy anew WASTE an PuMP
JAM - nO GRIND! iT make gRiND stuck with sugar.
- NOT SMOKING! FiNger ma-ka BIIIIIIG JAM, WAnT nota hurt screwed!
CERTAIN TYPE OF DRAIN WHICH LEAK BLOCK ATTACHED NOT AVAILBE FOR THIS WASTE
Grind Not for hunt purpose. If bleed, wrong use go buy more grindwaste
If gRind not happen SMOKE TEST. NOT SMOKING WHEN WASTE it make grind sluggish
SOME GriNd stuck. Act few times to unstuck gRind then get waSTe continuous
Waste leak. SCREWED GRIND PIPE, MAYB to mUhc. Buy anew WASTE
PuMp too sOFt not suck waste good. NEED PUMP (Sold Separete)
pUmP work haRD suck much good, but sCrew pipe. Buy anew WASTE an PuMP
JAM - nO GRIND! iT make gRiND stuck with sugar.
- NOT SMOKING! FiNger ma-ka BIIIIIIG JAM, WAnT nota hurt screwed!
CERTAIN TYPE OF DRAIN WHICH LEAK BLOCK ATTACHED NOT AVAILBE FOR THIS WASTE
At
the Surreal-Supplement-Company, we have seen the detrimental effect
vegetarianism is having on people from all walks of life.
Our team recognises Iron is a part of our diet we cannot live without. We wanted to offer our established marketbase an alternative to expensive drugs, long waiting lists and a life of frustration.
We have a troupe of very uncredible scientists working around the clock developing devious ideas for the family breakfast table. This week, they're pleased to announce
NEW "Staple Cereal: A Dietary Staple thats Guarantees 99% Healthier-Living in a 101% Meat, Egg, Fish and Fat-Free Serving!"
Our scientists ASSURE us that adding staples to our regular cereal products, along with de-meatifying substances of dubious origin, "would have NO effect on the health and well-being of our valuable customers," and that "such supplements would ONLY increase health and well-being."
As a result, we're pleased to also announce that we'll be RE-vamping our existing and high-sales SKU's to incorpoate this EXCITING new development in the surreal market of breakfast cereals, following exasperated sales projections and cries of terror from the credible scientific community.
Some of our existing products include:
- Surreal Supplement: 119.7% Regularity Free
- Supplment-O's: Oe-ven your cat will love it!
- Cereality: Cereal is Our Reality; A Balanced Breakfast that skips everything but the bowl of Cereal
- Clippy's: Our First Surreal, it brings evil computer programs to the breakfast table, in a low-fat, low-calorie and low-fun package
The Surreal-Supplement-Company is partnering with AGI Supermarkets, and holding company Hsactem ("Huh-Zack-Tem") in order to offer these revamped products exclusively to consumers.
Our media campaign will drive SALES and PROFIT beyond your wildest dreams. Our most popular products are being rebranded to include additional dietary staples, such as in the example below:
- Surreal Supplement: With Added (SurrealIron) Dietary Staples, Same 119.7% Regularity Free Taste!
- Supplement-O's: Oe-ven the Cat Will Have a Stapled Throat!
- Surreal-O-Stable: A Balanced Dose of Irregularity, Surrealism but still with 29% FREE Fat
Store Managers are advised to contact their Hsactem Wharehouse for more information on this product.
Customers preferring "Direct Orders" through Surreal-Supplement-Company are encouraged to phone Sales and Human Crisis Director, John Smith, at 7777-7777-222. If you get that stupid woman called "Beth," hang up and try again. They've got phone issues for the sixteenth time this month!
e highlighted off-white text. Now, unhighlight it before something bad happens!Our team recognises Iron is a part of our diet we cannot live without. We wanted to offer our established marketbase an alternative to expensive drugs, long waiting lists and a life of frustration.
We have a troupe of very uncredible scientists working around the clock developing devious ideas for the family breakfast table. This week, they're pleased to announce
NEW "Staple Cereal: A Dietary Staple thats Guarantees 99% Healthier-Living in a 101% Meat, Egg, Fish and Fat-Free Serving!"
Our scientists ASSURE us that adding staples to our regular cereal products, along with de-meatifying substances of dubious origin, "would have NO effect on the health and well-being of our valuable customers," and that "such supplements would ONLY increase health and well-being."
As a result, we're pleased to also announce that we'll be RE-vamping our existing and high-sales SKU's to incorpoate this EXCITING new development in the surreal market of breakfast cereals, following exasperated sales projections and cries of terror from the credible scientific community.
Some of our existing products include:
- Surreal Supplement: 119.7% Regularity Free
- Supplment-O's: Oe-ven your cat will love it!
- Cereality: Cereal is Our Reality; A Balanced Breakfast that skips everything but the bowl of Cereal
- Clippy's: Our First Surreal, it brings evil computer programs to the breakfast table, in a low-fat, low-calorie and low-fun package
The Surreal-Supplement-Company is partnering with AGI Supermarkets, and holding company Hsactem ("Huh-Zack-Tem") in order to offer these revamped products exclusively to consumers.
Our media campaign will drive SALES and PROFIT beyond your wildest dreams. Our most popular products are being rebranded to include additional dietary staples, such as in the example below:
- Surreal Supplement: With Added (SurrealIron) Dietary Staples, Same 119.7% Regularity Free Taste!
- Supplement-O's: Oe-ven the Cat Will Have a Stapled Throat!
- Surreal-O-Stable: A Balanced Dose of Irregularity, Surrealism but still with 29% FREE Fat
Store Managers are advised to contact their Hsactem Wharehouse for more information on this product.
Customers preferring "Direct Orders" through Surreal-Supplement-Company are encouraged to phone Sales and Human Crisis Director, John Smith, at 7777-7777-222. If you get that stupid woman called "Beth," hang up and try again. They've got phone issues for the sixteenth time this month!
Wrap the Cat?
This number is sung to the classic country song, "Smoke! Smoke! Smoke! (That Cigarette)"
Wrap! Wrap! Wrap! That dang-blasted Cat!
That dang-blasted Cat gonna do nothin' in that there GladWrap
Wrap! Wrap! Wrap! That evil, scheming Cat!
That dang-blasted Cat gonna do nothin' in that there GladWrap
Wrap! Wrap! Wrap! Me in bubble wrap?
I don't mean to burst yo' bubble, but this is the END of the song!
So I Went Shopping on eBay...
I have a strange obsession with nofer-trunnions. My lounge is filled with the things. Shelves upon shelves of these devices serving absolutely no purpose adorn my house. Maybe I ought to seek help?
Anyway, I was trying to buy some more nofer-trunnions on eBay. I selected "Buy it Now," which eventually redirected me to PayPal, so I could make a payment.
Having entered my password, selected my payment option, shipping-gouging-settling & handling and selected "PAY NOW," PayPal presented the following error:
SORRY!
PayPal and assorted health-awareness groups have recently launched a campaign to prevent impulse purchases like the one you're making. The resulting campaign has spawned much work in the field of "impulse-detection systems," devised by hare-brained specialists called "Scientists" of questionable origin.
We'd like to inform you that our system has detected a potential impulse purchase.
The New Impulse-Purchase-Protection-System (IPPS*) has blocked you from making this purchase, as it believes that you potentially have more dollars than you do cents.
To prove that you aren't an impulse-buyer, you have the choice of paying an additional, non tax-deductable charge of $10. This will appear on your PayPal Statement as "Department #99: Fees, Charges and IPPS."
Please make your selection below:
PayPal and assorted health-awareness groups have recently launched a campaign to prevent impulse purchases like the one you're making. The resulting campaign has spawned much work in the field of "impulse-detection systems," devised by hare-brained specialists called "Scientists" of questionable origin.
We'd like to inform you that our system has detected a potential impulse purchase.
The New Impulse-Purchase-Protection-System (IPPS*) has blocked you from making this purchase, as it believes that you potentially have more dollars than you do cents.
To prove that you aren't an impulse-buyer, you have the choice of paying an additional, non tax-deductable charge of $10. This will appear on your PayPal Statement as "Department #99: Fees, Charges and IPPS."
Please make your selection below:
Pay your $10
Get the (censored)
Out of PayPal!
Supermarket Shenanigans!
(Standing Near Batteries)
Male Customer: "Where are the batteries located?"
Random Staff Member (Points): "Just to your left, sir."
(A Counter With a "COUNTER CLOSED" Sign, in RED, BOLD, CAPITALISED WRITING)
Random Staff Member (Diddling with computer, because its broken for the 9th time today, and there's a queue forming)
Woman Customer: "Are you open?"
Random Staff Member (Points at Sign): "Sorry, this counter is CLOSED! There is computer trouble."
Woman Customer: "You expect me to get in line? {Mutters} This ALWAYS happens when I come shopping!"
Random Staff Member: {Mutters}, "Why do all the dipsticks come to me? Why can't anyone read signs anymore?!?! Where is the common-sense?!?!"
(Closing Time)
Typical,Tardy and Blissfully Unaware Customer (Tries walking in)
Supervisor: "Sorry, we're closed!"
Customer: "But I just need one or two things?"
Supervisor: "Fine!" Some moments later, as customer leaves hearing range, the Supervisor says to other staff, "One or two items?! I bet you $5 he'll have at least a basket full"
Several Minutes Later:
Fruit & Vegetable Attendant: "He's in the chiller section now."
Other Staff: "He always does this"
Supervisor: "Someone tell him we're closed! And John, you owe me $5, he's already filled the flippin' basket..."
Another few minutes:
Fruit & Vegetable Attendant: "They've got all day to come shopping, and when do they come? When we're closed."
Supervisor: "Here he comes now. About (censored) time"
Customer: "I'm sorry, I really only needed one or two things."
Staff: "(hmmmm)"
Transaction Completed:
Supervisor: Leave your till open, I need to arrange the closing finances
Care and Feeding of Webservers for Windows: WFW-97.15 release*
Webserver-Incorporated is delighted that you have chosen their product.
We would like to explain in this "QuickServe" tract how to get the most out of your Webserver
- Before starting, ensure the system is set up for optimal performance. It must not be located in an excessively dusty OR clean room. There must be plenty of insects and other assorted "bugs" present to ensure a good balance between speed, stability, uptime and security holes and glitches.
- Following the installation of Windows for Webservers on your Webserver for Windows system, ensure the insect-worker processes are functional and are operated with capacity to spare.
- Locate some Arachnids to begin the Arachnid process. (Optionally, Webserver-Incorporated sells a high-performance arachnid kit for established domains wishing to quickly establish new systems following (successful) fumigation attempts).
- If you notice insect-worker processes disappear faster than they can be replenished, you may wish to decrease the number of arachnid processes. CAUTION: Removing the arachnid processes can my very dangerous, particularly when high-performance species, such as Redbacks, Black Widows or Bird-Eating Spiders are deployed.
- If the Insect:Arachnid ratio is within the acceptable standard deviation range, you should notice Webs being spun, and even egg-sacks being deposited. This will allow for future growth in your Web and will ensure there will be enough to serve as requests come through.
- The system needs additional care (in the form of cleaning) and feeding on a regular basis. About 2-3 days each is typically acceptable. Over-cleaning could result in system instability as the insects cannot find food. As the arachnids starve, the webs will deteriorate and may fall apart. You could cause poisoning if they escape!
Every 3 days, you need to feed your system a compound comprising at least 75% (SYNTHETIC) Computer-Data-Grade Dust Bunnies. Such a product is sold by ServoDust Inc. and availabe at most computer outlets. Ingestion is via the front grille.
If the grille is obstructed, you must wait another three days before attempting feeding. If feeding is still not possible, then it is advisable to clean the system and add roughly 2-3 "puffs" of dust product and a insect/arachnid Super Fertiliser, typically comprising at least 29% Unobtainium.
Should you find the grille is exceptionally clear, add an additional "puff" or two each finding time until a small dusting is present.
As the Worker-Arachnids grow older, there is the chance they start eating each-other over territorial disputes. Should this happen, you need to consider allow each to manage its own domain within a separate Webserver for Windows. Otherwise Web-Failure could occur, and may result in severe downtime.
Worker-Arachnids have been known to try killing and eating their Servicemen (or women) during routine service work. Typically, this trait is observed in the high-performance species, rather than the lower-performing, ubiquitous and generally harmless domesticated species.
Web clogs may hamper the operation of Windows for Webserver, or the hardware, Webserver for Windows. With Windows, spiders may escape if Windows open unexpectantly during web-clogs. On Webservers, patrons may find more Web than they were willing to be served.
The solution here is careful fumigation, hardware upgrades or new boxes in your "(Web)Server Farm." Typically, a hardware upgrade is the least-preferred, but most cost-effective solution, as it entails replacing domesticated arachnids with high-performance species, thus reducing the total units required to operate.
This also requires installation of deadly insect species, like BEES, Wasps, Hornets, Fireants and so on, as they provide additional energy for Web-spinning.
Not only is there an inherent danger in removing older species (or even releasing electrical smoke on them!), warding off dangerous insects and arachnids has proven fatal in many instances. This is why the cost-effectiveness is very high; no one pays if they're dead!
Windows itself is greatly enhanced by a strong Web-Presence inside the machine. It greatly reduces access time, and Webs are great at persistent-caching of assorted stuffs (and generally affix well to existing RAM modules). The Insects also serve to decrease processing time; as they move independently of the electrical circuitry, and can thus bypass inefficient parts of the system, such as the SouthBridge.
We hope this {reasoanbly} short explanation on the Care and Feeding of your Webserver for Windows will greatly assist you in maintaining it, and ensure that it doesn't try and eat you alive. Repeat Customers, for a limited time, can receive heavily discounted Performance and Discount machines and optional "bugs" when they demonstrate their hardware hasn't tried eating them alive. Please contact here at one of these 1,000 addresses for more details
* Systems built on the Word-For-Windows 97 architecture. Yeah, it took us another 15 attempts after that to solve instability issues related to insect and arachnid process deaths, and deaths of the maintenance personnel...
"They Should Build Roads Right the First Time"
Friend: “The roads around here are changing so much”
Me: Admiring the crazy amount of road-works. I think to myself, “This road has performed an illegal operation and must be reconstructed…”
Friend: “Why couldn’t they build them the right way the first time?”
Where'd That Come From?
As I sit as a passenger driving through the country side, I look out the window: “Where did that cave come from? Why didn’t I ever see it before?”
On an Airplane: MY PEN EXPLODED!
I have one of those “old-fashioned” fountain pens. You know, the one with the nib, and refillable inks and that?
Me: Minding my own business on the airplane, “Hmmm… I had better check on my pen and see if it’s exploded yet.”
A few moments later:
“Nope! No explosion yet….
Oh wait, I shouldn’t use that word on an airplane. OOOPS.”
After checking during descent for the fifth time:
Stewardess: “What did you say about an explosion?”
Me: “It just a fountain pen, they have a habit of explo...... LEAKING on pressurized airplanes….”
Awkward Silence.
GPS Has New Ideas on Life
Driver plots course into GPS unit for the run home
GPS: “At the next intersection… Ask someone else for directions!
You keep driving round like a maniac and going against my better judgement!
Besides, it’s Friday, and I need a drink!”
Keyboards Ai t What they qwsed to Be
Was this cribbled bit of text enogh to let yoeqrw know y A-p0le
cxzac Acbooks keyboard has other ideas on how to live its life?There is no excse for falty engineering on behalf of A--le.
No, that key doesnt work. It adIOst the volIOnne now, adds `--` to y p0ages and is adfsst ĴIOUeqrtweqrtwyeqrtwIOUeqrtwasst (that was supposed to be the word just...)
y coeqrtwyter has been relegated to a stinking ile of p0o
\
Later, on a "HP MushBoard" of some description: It's a good thing I have a lot of computers and keyboards! This sort of annoyance could spur PARODIES! of the spiteful type...
I'd Like to Teach the World to... WOBBLE(???)... In Perfect Harmony!
Turbulence on long trans-pacific flights can do strange things to people.
Everyone, of course, remembers Bart Simpson's wild imagination surrounding slingshots, AssortedProjectiles and Ms. Krabappel's rear-end.
Now imagine that, a squeaking bulkhead and "that" again in-tune to the squeaking bulkhead... Nearly fell off your chair laughing? Even better.
From the Annoying-Aircraft-Advancement-Advocation-and-Airheads-Advertisement-Association*
NEW!
Economical Cattle-Class
Yes, we at Cheapskate Airlines have come up with yet another innovation in air travel.
This time, it isn't Shonky-Seats, 'DamnTheFolksinEconomy, We're Putting more First-Class in!' or the ever-popular "Leaking Lavatories: Lousy, Leaking Loos that Smell Like Poos!"
EconomicalCattle-Class is the CHEAP way to fly in economy class!
Say goodbye to frivilous things like legroom, food, a cushy seat or even a lavatory!
We even thought personal tv sets were a bit too fancy, and figured our prized cattle would rather stare at a delicious meal of green grass on new OVER-View, the CRT Overhead TV sets repossessed from original 747 aircraft from the 70s. These sets suffer from classical and rather comical cases of "burn in," and as such, images are ingrained permanently, even when the set is showing a black screen. Such sets save food (and food-wastage), power and remove class from your travelling experience.
Our seats are COLD, HARD and don't cost much of your cash. It would be an offense against the UN Convention of Human Rights in some way to charge more, given the lack of 'soft product.' (Editor's Note: "Bwa-ha-ha!").
We repurposed the seats via time travel, ala 'Back to the Future Middle-Ages,' because its far more environmentally-friendly than recycling, and because our Mr. Fusion runs on wasted food from First Class Passengers.
Our
latest aircraft, typically purchased 21st-hand from operators somehwere
deep within Sub-Saharan Africa or the Siberian Tundra with no concept
of safe maintenance practices, are under-fitted with this disgusting
decor. These planes try to operate on select routes to and from
sCrapyard City and Sydney, Australia. Operational reliability has not
yet been ascertained, so your flying experience (or lack thereof) will
certainly vary.
Want to keep the in-laws away? EconomicalCattle-Class is most certainly the way!
Economical Cattle-Class
Yes, we at Cheapskate Airlines have come up with yet another innovation in air travel.
This time, it isn't Shonky-Seats, 'DamnTheFolksinEconomy, We're Putting more First-Class in!' or the ever-popular "Leaking Lavatories: Lousy, Leaking Loos that Smell Like Poos!"
EconomicalCattle-Class is the CHEAP way to fly in economy class!
Say goodbye to frivilous things like legroom, food, a cushy seat or even a lavatory! We even thought personal tv sets were a bit too fancy, and figured our prized cattle would rather stare at a delicious meal of green grass on new OVER-View, the CRT Overhead TV sets repossessed from original 747 aircraft from the 70s. These sets suffer from classical and rather comical cases of "burn in," and as such, images are ingrained permanently, even when the set is showing a black screen. Such sets save food (and food-wastage), power and remove class from your travelling experience.
Our seats are COLD, HARD and don't cost much of your cash. It would be an offense against the UN Convention of Human Rights in some way to charge more, given the lack of 'soft product.' (Editor's Note: "Bwa-ha-ha!").
We repurposed the seats via time travel, ala 'Back to the Future Middle-Ages,' because its far more environmentally-friendly than recycling, and because our Mr. Fusion runs on wasted food from First Class Passengers.
Our
latest aircraft, typically purchased 21st-hand from operators somehwere
deep within Sub-Saharan Africa or the Siberian Tundra with no concept
of safe maintenance practices, are under-fitted with this disgusting
decor. These planes try to operate on select routes to and from
sCrapyard City and Sydney, Australia. Operational reliability has not
yet been ascertained, so your flying experience (or lack thereof) will
certainly vary. Want to keep the in-laws away? EconomicalCattle-Class is most certainly the way!
*Hows THAT for alliteration?
Assorted Nonsense Surrounding Aircraft:
"Dutch Oven:" Because in Europe, 'vee have no idea of vhaat hot veather is and 've build 'ze planes vith ziss mentalitty. (The air-conditioning provides no relief on a 90şF/32şC day)
"Fokker:" Easter-Egg from the company, or a deliberate means of mocking technical issues? "She's Fokker(d)" "Mother Fokker!" You decide.
Malaysia: "You must pay the dues for these aircraft within 14 days, or they will be sold to the highest bidder." (Full Size Original)
We Interrupt the Regularly Scheduled Programme to Send you NONSENSE!
Google Searches reveal many things to many people. Its said that every imaginable word, phrase (or combination thereof) has been used. Typing "RAID is not" and "RAID does not" yields several possibilities in the search suggestions:
- RAID is not killing roaches/ants/BEES
- RAID not found
- RAID not showing up in Windows
- RAID does not appear to be active
- RAID does not kill flies
- RAID level does not match
- RAID finder does not drop loot
- RAID drive does not show
In essence, it means if something starts working properly, there are one or more redundant spares which can fail in place of the working drive, thus ensuring disaster ensues.
So if your RAID IS killing roaches, ants and/or BEES - then another RAID takes over and makes sure something that awesome stops right then and there.
Oil Burns?* REALLY?!
If your vehicle leaks that which DOES burn - you should get it fixed. Because that which does burn has a terrible propensity to generate foul odors, white, blue or black smoke and even large flames if given sufficient opportunity.
Particular caution should be paid to vehicles leaking clear, slightly odorised liquids known in 2016 as fuel. Previously, this stuff was called Dinosaurs, Saudi Arabia, ExxonMobil, Techron or any of the above. This liquid may be highly combustible. Avoid doing anything that might make that which does burn burst into flames.
If that which does burn is coming from something that sounds like a tractor, or uses and unusually fat filler nozzle at the FUEL station - don't step on it, or the compression could cause significant heat generation and the highly disastrous case of................ NOTHING to happen. Matches will produce a similar lack of that which does (seemingly not) burn.
If that which does burn makes a hissing sound and is extremely cold and in liquid form - then you're dealing with GAS, as its called in 2016. This was previously known as Seaweed, OtherAssortedAborialLife or FossilsFilledWithGas.
*The joke here is, of course, "Burns WHAT exactly?"
Its a New Year....
Although by the looks of the landfilll, trash cans and recently filed documents, you'd think people were living in the past and playing Groundhog Day Year instead. I mean, seriously, are we going to keep writing 2015 forever? Get with the times, MAN!
TONGUE TWISTERS!
Unfortunately, a fast mind can breed curious results if allowed to roam too freely. Such examples include, but certainly aren't limited to:
"I'm just gonna put the Kwettle on for some coffee"
"She at least has a semi-frensible friends list on her Fa(r)cebook page"
"One smart smart fellow, he felt smart"
"One smart fellow, he felt fart"
"One fart fellow, he smelt fart"
"One smart fellow, he smelt.... OH I GIVE UP!"
This Just In: Apparently Lightning is "That which 'JUST SO HAPPENS, BY CRAZY COINCIDENCE AND AGAINST ALL ODDS' Happens to Burn"
Very large bushfires can create their own weather patterns. If that isn't creepy enough, turns out lightning is often generated too. Bang Bang, Burn Burn.
SDP "Web-Ring 1K-95"
Are you tired of visiting the same old web pages?
Is AMStereo just not giving the effect it used to?
Are you so used to FireAlarms you don't panic anymore?
Are rocks growing in your brain?
Have the Ghost's frightened you away?
The SDP WebRing '2000 links pages together, eventually returning you to where you started.
The Web-Ring 1K-95 is an apt description because it suggests the era in which the design of most sites used in "Web-Ring Formation" are stuck in: 1995.
To use the Web-Ring; simply follow the prompts at each Index page to successfully REFRESH yourself with some different content, on different topics.
For Webserver owners, we make implementation easier than digging a hole through bedrock.
Just copy and paste the HTML Code, Terms and Conditions agreement, payment-bond and any "rubbish email address" you wish to feed to troll/spam bots into your HTML Source for each site you wish to connect to the Web-Ring. A CookyKonundrumCorrector (or "CKC" module) loaded into the Ring-Master/Server ensures no repetition takes place, and that a new site is linked until all options are exhausted.
The SDP WebRing '2000 does not come with a price, except the fact that you'll eventually start to go round in circles.
Exiting a Web-Ring may result in the chain being broken: So a LifeTime Guarantee is expected from each Webmaster that is enrolled.
Warning: StereDustParticles accepts no liability for users employing this product on their Webserver(s), particularly if patrons become excessively dizzy from all the circles they'll be travelling in.
In the event that the above side-effects are noted occurring in reverse, then its possible you'll need the SDP Correct-Coriolis device to ensure your dizziness is not in reverse.
Is AMStereo just not giving the effect it used to?
Are you so used to FireAlarms you don't panic anymore?
Are rocks growing in your brain?
Have the Ghost's frightened you away?
The SDP WebRing '2000 links pages together, eventually returning you to where you started.
The Web-Ring 1K-95 is an apt description because it suggests the era in which the design of most sites used in "Web-Ring Formation" are stuck in: 1995.
To use the Web-Ring; simply follow the prompts at each Index page to successfully REFRESH yourself with some different content, on different topics.
For Webserver owners, we make implementation easier than digging a hole through bedrock.
Just copy and paste the HTML Code, Terms and Conditions agreement, payment-bond and any "rubbish email address" you wish to feed to troll/spam bots into your HTML Source for each site you wish to connect to the Web-Ring. A CookyKonundrumCorrector (or "CKC" module) loaded into the Ring-Master/Server ensures no repetition takes place, and that a new site is linked until all options are exhausted.
The SDP WebRing '2000 does not come with a price, except the fact that you'll eventually start to go round in circles.
Exiting a Web-Ring may result in the chain being broken: So a LifeTime Guarantee is expected from each Webmaster that is enrolled.
Warning: StereDustParticles accepts no liability for users employing this product on their Webserver(s), particularly if patrons become excessively dizzy from all the circles they'll be travelling in.
In the event that the above side-effects are noted occurring in reverse, then its possible you'll need the SDP Correct-Coriolis device to ensure your dizziness is not in reverse.